I have a what?

A one-month-old!

Today is Declan's one month birthday. This month has flown by faster than any month ever, in my life. Including summers, which usually go by pretty fast. But this is like, unprecedented turbo-speed time. I remember giving birth very clearly (too clearly, if ya ask me) and it seems like just yesterday I was holding my little baby burrito in the hospital bed, watching the A Baby Story on tv and yelling at the screen, "Haha, I did better than you!" (Because some of those women have to push, like, forever. And some have really weird looking babies.)

Anyway, we celebrated one month of parenthood by going to Target and spending a gift certificate we had received. The card read, "For Baby Declan." Um, right. We bought me a shirt, Aaron a beard trimmer, and fixings for tacos. Declan got zilch. But you know what? I clean his butt like seventy times a day, so I think I deserve a little present once in a while.

Besides, Declan has everything he needs and more. Seriously, there are some things that Babies R Us declared were "NECESSITIES!!1!" that I haven't touched. Like tiny bibs. Declan is breastfed. He does not need a bib until he's eating solid food, and by that time the 90,000 itsy bitsy terrycloth bibs we've received will be too small to wrap around his chunky thigh, much less his neck. The only bib I'm excited about is the one Julie bought, because it's normal sized instead of miniature, and it's waterproof. :)

Also, breast pads. I acknowledge that many women need these. But my child eats so often (and I guess my boobs also have some sense of self-control) that I've never leaked. And yet, I have boxes and boxes of breast pads. And ya know what, even if they did leak, it would just drip onto my arm or something, because the only time my chest is clothed is when I leave the house, which is like, once a week. Otherwise, the girls enjoy the fresh air. Sorry if that's TMI, but I find it very convenient.

I blogged on Monday about trying to get Declan on a schedule. I was going to record his every move for one week, then try and stretch him out to longer between feedings and longer naps. Well, I recorded our schedule on Monday, and it scared me so much that I haven't done it again since. Scared me because once I wrote it down, there was no deluding myself - my kid eats every FORTY-FIVE minutes. I think the average time between feedings for one-month-olds is 2-3 hours during the day, 4-5 at night. But Declan is on the boob every 45 minutes, day or night, rain or shine. So now you understand why I'm deliriously rambling.

The funny thing is, I thought we were getting long stretches at night. But I was only looking at the clock when I got up to change his diaper. In reality, we woke up many, many more times than just diaper changes. I just blocked them out, I guess. But recording them on Monday night was a wake-up call (no pun intended). So now I'm just bewildered, and have no idea how I'm going to get him to go two hours without eating. I guess we'll just transition slowly. My goal for tonight is ONE solid hour of sleep.

Wish me luck?