Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Weeks Ten & Eleven

Pregnancy Week 10: March 16 - 23, 2011
Pregnancy Week 11: March 23 - 30, 2011

Symptoms: Nausea here and there, fatigue, peeing a little more (or is it in my head?)

Yes, I skipped an update. Life has been an annoying mixture of lazy and crazy. And I think, in the back of my mind, I'm still worried about the baby actually being alive in there. Sometimes when writing these updates I think, "Man, this will suck if I have a miscarriage and have to look back at these updates when going through my blog history."

But of course, I will try to remain optimistic.

My symptoms seem to be abating. Nausea still happens once in a while, but it's no longer a nightly occurrence. Even the belly bloat has gone down somewhat.

My mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law are coming next Sunday. I have to find the energy to clean the house. No idea where I'll find it, but it's gotta happen.

A week from Friday I have my next doctor's appointment. I am already on the edge of my seat, because I know that she'll use the doppler this time. Hearing that little heartbeat will work wonders for my anxiety.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Intelligender Disappointment

So here's how my Intelligender test turned out:

I can't tell which it is!

The dark green is for boy. The orange is for girl.

Mine is neither! I'm having a hermaphrodite baby!

Here's the more in-depth analysis (because you KNOW I've been scouring the internet for tips ever since I took it at 7 am.)

Most people who got "boy" results had very dark, army green. No orange at all. People who got "girl" results *sometimes* had clear orange, but most of the time people report having some green particles in there. One person said that when she emailed Intelligender for help reading her test (I did this too, waiting to hear back), they said to disregard particles.

If you disregard particles, mine is a GIRL. But I'm not entirely convinced...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Resolution, and Intelligender!

Well, the darling husband doesn't think he's going to be fired after all. So that's good.

Also, I got a raise! Aaron was all smiles when I told him. I think that little boost of income will help him to be a little less anxious about his job.

Today, I celebrated by buying the Intelligender test! I'll take it first thing in the morning, and I'm sure I'll update then.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Stress. What Else Is New?

When I was pregnant with Declan, I knew that things were going to be stressful. Ending college, moving cross-country, setting up a new house, trying to find jobs, insurance... I pretty much expected that my life would be in upheaval for a while. The upheaval lasted much longer than expected, however, when Aaron couldn't seem to stick with one job and was constantly changing his plan. We went from Wheatsville, to cooking, to personal training school all before Declan was born. Then there was the hypothetical chicken farm, and moving to Iowa, then THREE different jobs up here before he got the one he has now.

I used to think I liked change. I liked to mix up my routine, be spontaneous, do things that were unexpected. But when you add a child into the mix, I want NO CHANGE. I want to live in this house, keep our same jobs, our insurance, doctor, I don't even want to change our freaking CABLE plan until after this baby is born.

But things aren't going my way. Aaron thinks he's going to be fired on Monday, because he saw an ad for his job in the paper. Not HIS job, specifically, but an opening for a position like his. So he wants to quit preemptively, and start looking for another job ASAP. Now, this alone wouldn't send me over the edge of the stress-cliff. But in the past couple of weeks, Aaron has been dropping a lot of worrisome hints that he would like to make a change... Some are blatant - "I want to move to Mashalltown or Ames." "I'm going to apply at [insert random place of business here]." While others are veiled as being "for me" - "I think I found a way that we can move back to Texas."

And then there's the beer distribution company that he wants to open with his friend. Now Aaron has a lot of ideas. Mostly ideas that he thinks will make us rich. We have semi-followed through on two of them - Personal training and chicken farming. He took out a loan for PT school, made it almost all the way through, and quit. He found out / thought it was a hoax, and that the certification he'd get wasn't worth anything. Then chicken farming... well, that may well have been a ruse just to get back to Iowa. But he did get all of the stuff to raise chicks from his friend, borrowed more money for supplies, then never got started. Not even close. The chicken stuff is in our basement.

So you can see why I'm worried about his new beer distributing plan. It could definitely work. I want so badly to be behind him 100%. But he made awesome, convincing pitches for personal training and chicken farming, too.

On top of this job debacle, I just found out that while I'm on maternity leave, I'll still have to pay the insurance premiums that usually come out of my paychecks. That's $199 every two weeks. There's no way we can afford to pay that for 12 weeks while I'm brining home next to nothing. So we need to find different insurance for Declan and the new baby.

I am so frustrated with the whole situation that I honestly feel like quitting my job, taking Declan in my arms, and running away to live in the woods. Or go live with the Amish. I could learn to like bonnets if it meant not having to deal with this shit.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Scrub-a-dub, Sirens and SLEEP!

Tonight in the bath, Declan put soap on his hands, lathered it up, and rubbed it all over his body while cracking up. It's the first time I've seen him do that! One more step on the road to independence.

In other news, the tornado sirens went off tonight, as a thunderstorm was passing over us. I was just getting ready to pack up some snacks, sippy cups, and toys, and head for the basement, when the sirens stopped. The radar seemed to show that the worst had already passed over us.

And the best news of all, Declan and I both got a ridiculously wonderful, extra-long afternoon nap today. Now I know the secret - don't lay on the couch, lay in BED. It's darker, and there are fewer toys to be distracted by. And there's much more room on the bed for a squirmy toddler to lay down and chill. We slept from about 4 to 6:30. Yessss. It's the only reason I'm conscious enough right now to write this.

And with that, I think I'll crawl back between the sheets.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Week Nine

Pregnancy Week 9: March 9-16, 2011

Symptoms: Extreme fatigue, some nausea, a little extra peeing

Week Nine. Sigh. Time seems to be dragging.

I thought that my nausea was over, but it's back with a vengeance tonight. Shouldn't have eaten that pot roa... oh, I can't even type it.

Declan has been such a pill lately. He loves to climb all over me, jump on me, hit, pull hair, throw toys, stick fingers up my nose... And I have no idea what to do. I can only redirect so many times - he just comes straight back at me for another beating. And my patience is so small these days. Sometimes I just break down crying because I honestly feel like he KNOWS that it's driving me crazy, and is just being a bully. Of course when I cry, he laughs. I know deep down that this is normal toddler stuff. I just wish Declan could somehow grasp the concept of "leave Mommy alone for a few minutes so that she can breathe!"

We do have our good moments. He can be very cuddly and huggy and sweet. I just haven't seen very much of the sweet Declan in the past few days. I miss him.

The best part of this week was Mom and Katherine coming to visit! I was so happy that my "morning" sickness was gone, so that we could eat freely. However, my fatigue seemed to hit extra hard - the first night they were here, I fell asleep in the recliner at like 8 pm. I felt bad that I had so little energy, but they were very understanding.

Looking forward to week 10. Then it's Intelligender time!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Week Eight

Pregnancy Week Eight: March 1-8, 2011

Symptoms: Nausea, fatigue, fatigue, fatigue

I feel like I could sleep all day. Unfortunately, Declan has other plans. As does my job.

The nausea was actually a little better for a few days this week. Not consistently, but enough to give me hope that someday soon, I'll be able to eat like a normal person. I have perfected the art of eating tiny snacks every hour or so, which keeps the nausea at bay. But in the evenings, it seems to come whether I eat snacks or not. Oh well.

I am so excited that my mom and Katherine will be here on Tuesday! Less than a week! We're going to go to the outlet mall for sure, and I am so pumped to buy a pair of maternity jeans. And also a BellaBand, to keep my scrub pants up.

Other than shopping, I'm trying to think of things we can do... It's still snowy outside today, but the high the day that they arrive is *supposed* to be 53. We shall see. I have a feeling we'll spend a lot of time just hanging around the house anyway, given my current energy level.

I guess I'm getting off-topic. The pregnancy seems to be progressing well. My belly is growing, my nausea is still present, I'm tired as heck, and I only had one spotting incident this week. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that at my doctor's appointment on Friday, we get good news.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Week Seven

Pregnancy Week Seven: February 22 - March 1, 2011

Symptoms: Tons of nausea, fatigue, lack of appetite, sore boobs, emotional

So I skipped week six. I know. That's because I honestly wasn't sure if I was pregnant, or if I was, how much longer I would be pregnant. The spotting and cramping had me scared out of my mind. I mourned for a baby that I hadn't officially lost yet.

Now, I'm still spotting, but it's like the vagina who cried miscarriage - it's hard to take the spotting seriously. Every few days there's some pink when I wipe, but it's gone after a few hours. And I'm having loads of pregnancy symptoms, so I'm pretty sure I'm still with child.

Speaking of symptoms. The nausea is killing me. Usually when I first wake up, I can choke down a light breakfast. But about an hour later, it wants to came back up on me. Then I'm usually good for a while - hungry, even - until I eat lunch. I should have learned my lesson by now, not to eat more than like half a cup at a time, but when I'm working, I get so hungry around then. So I eat a real meal. And within minutes, I feel like dying. I usually throw up when I get home. And the evenings are just f-ing miserable. I definitely have more evening sickness than morning sickness. It's the worst from about 7 pm to 8 pm. I don't know what it is about that hour, but I've spent it curled up around the toilet more times than I can count on my hands.

That paragraph was just delightful, wasn't it? Here's the bright side: All that puking and moaning and groaning means that my baby bean is still in there, growing and making Mama sick. So while I can't wait for this phase to be over, I am thanking my lucky stars that I have so much proof that I'm still knocked up.

I was never this sick with Declan. But from what I remember, the nausea started to fade away around 9-10 weeks. So maybe I only have two or three weeks left of this crap. Hopefully.