Big News

Aaron is watching Dragonball Z: The Movie.

Yep, that's my big news. I am having a child with an overgrown 11-year-old.

But I can't be too hypocritical, because I'm suddenly kind of intrigued by this movie - a very white kid has a very asian grandfather. How did this happen? And why are they walking on tightropes? And why do wise asian grandfathers always have greenhouses?

Annnnyway, everything is going well, nothing new to report. I'm excited about my baby shower - there will be cupcakes and melon balls and decorating of baby t-shirts!

Oh wow, this movie is glorious. The white kid is slicking his hair back in order to woo the hot asian girl named ChiChi, he put on his girl jeans and leather jacket to go to her mansion party, ditching his asian grandfather and the chicken & noodles he made for dinner. Then, outside the party, the popular boys gang up on him, so he's using his Xi powers to take them all down - in SLO MO. The asian girl is totally wooed.

And Aaron just asked "Why does everybody know kung-fu but me?!" I love him.

Stretch Marks and Sniffles

My nose has been stuffy today, and I've had a bad headache for the last, oh, 48 hours. I hope I don't have swine flu. Ha.

Actually I'm really not scared of swine flu for myself, I've always had very healthy lungs and a fairly hardy immune system, I'm sure I'd be just fine. But a newborn is a whole different story, and they say (they = mainstream media, I guess) that the swine flu is supposed to reappear with a vengeance this fall. So don't be surprised if I'm passing out travel-size bottles of hand sanitizer when you're around Declan. I'm no germaphobe, but I feel like this is gonna be a "better safe than sorry" situation.

Anyway, I'm getting pretty tired of this whole baby-growing gig. I mean, I love him, and pregnancy is an awesome miracle or whatever, but my skin burns and itches from being so stretched out, I can't sleep because my back and hips hurt so badly, I can't bend over to save my life, and my hormones are raging like nobody's business. Yesterday my dad caught a glimpse of my bare belly, and asked if I had a bunch of mosquito bites... No, Dad, those are stretch marks and places where I've scratched myself raw, despite slathering my abdomen with an assortment of creams and butters.

I go places so infrequently that riding in the car is totally foreign, and makes me slightly nauseous. Considering that I am either sitting still or walking at a snails pace all day, I can see how 50 mph would be a shock to my brain. Not to mention the searing pain in the lady-parts that comes with going over speed bumps (Of which there are entirely too many between my house and my parents... like 10 at least. Ouch.) Just imagine if you were carrying a bowling ball between your hip bones and someone jostled you up and down. Yeah, unpleasant.

Sorry I'm so whiny today. Aaron's been at the gym for like 3 hours, and forgot to take his phone, so on top of all of my pregnancy woes, I'm worried that he either has a gay lover at the YMCA or was in a terrible car crash... Can't decide which I'd prefer.

Only two weeks until Becky's back, and only 2.5 weeks until I'm allowed off of bed rest! And only 6.5 weeks until my due date! And if Declan isn't born by my due date, I'm going to reach in and yank him out, then give him a stern talking to about teasing Mommy and making her think that he was going to come early.

And The Thunder Rolls

Big storm here tonight! Pouring rain and almost constant thunder and lightning - I hope it lasts for longer than five minutes!

My doctor's appointment today went well, no changes. Bed rest for two more weeks, then I'll be freeeee! And I don't have to go back next week unless I'm having lots of contractions.

I spent the day designing baby shower invites, which are to be mailed out by this weekend. If anyone reading this has any ideas of people who they think I might be forgetting on the invite list, let me know. My list is pitifully short, but I really can't think of many people who live close enough. If I could include free plane tickets to and from Austin in the envelope, I could expand the list exponentially, but the budget is a little too tight for that. Just a little. Anyway, if you have any ideas, speak up!

Another Week

Let me tell you, Mondays have a whole new glorious meaning when you're not in school and not working.

I mean, they still suck, because it's the beginning of a five-day stretch of monotony and being home all day by myself. But gone are the days that I would lay in bed on Monday mornings praying, "Oh dear Lord please, please let me go back in time 24 hours because I did not properly appreciate my Sunday and I'm so not ready for this, Amen."

But please don't take this as me bragging that I get to laze around all day while the rest of you attend classes / go to work / are productive members of society. I would give anything to be able to get up and get dressed and go make money each morning.

And this weekend was especially painful because I kept being reminded that all of my college friends are moving back onto campus and celebrating the beginning of the school year. (The oh-so-subtle ways I was alerted of their celebrations? Texts at 11 pm, midnight, 2 am and 4 am from various Grinnellians, each one a little less legible.)

Anyway, I'm comforted by the fact that I only have 2.5 more weeks of bedrest, and after that it's only 1 week until my baby shower, and after that, well, he could be born at any time. Woo!

I'm still picniking like a fool. Here's Aaron with a handlebar mustache.

Humbug

Bah, today was miserable. I cannot keep my hormones in check. As soon as Aaron came home from work, I started picking fights and being overly sensitive.

I really think it's the bed rest. I spent all day knitting and watching The Tudors, so I forgot how to properly interact with human beings. I mean, it's also being 8 months pregnant. That's probably the bulk of the issue. But being on house arrest with only my computer to keep me company sure doesn't help.

So we had a Big Blow-Up Argument, which, as per usual, ended up with me sobbing hysterically over nothing and Aaron calling me a big baby. Then we kissed and made up, and I sent him off to see Inglorious Basterds without me, tearing up again as he drove away because I SO want to see that movie! But at least one of us should be having fun, so that they can put up with the other's crabbiness. Both of us being bored and unhappy is just a recipe for disaster.

For the record, the argument was about how much "maternity leave" I get until I MUST (<-- Aaron's emphasis) get a job. His opinion? As little time as possible. My opinion? As much time as we can afford. So you see, we differ.

Maybe I need to get out in the sun. Maybe I have a vitamin D deficiency. Or maybe... ice cream. Maybe I just need some ice cream.

Playtime

As per Katherine's suggestion, I've been wasting away my hours editing photos on Picnik. Here's my latest update for you. When I'm feeling especially cow-like, I enjoy taking a front picture and a side picture, and flipping between the two and trying to convince myself that from straight on, I don't look that ginormous.

Please, if you'd like to make my day, tell me that those indents below my ribcage still make a perfectly good waist.

There's nothing about this picture that makes me feel less like a beached whale, but I do enjoy that Picnik has the thrilling ability to hide stretch marks and make me look all glowy.

And one more for fun:

Aaron is off today, and Grandma's making us beef stew for dinner. Yay!

Update (Not Feeling Creative)

All went well at my doctor's appointment today. I'm exactly the same, 1 cm and 75%, which is good. Still on strict bed rest, but not quite as worried.

The nurses really loved my knitting. I was working on it in the waiting room; these weekly appointments with 45+ minutes of waiting each time mean that I've read every single magazine they have to offer. So far I've got a blanket thats 30 inches long and about 1 inch wide. Got a ways to go.

I saw the nurse practitioner since my doctor's on vacation. Turns out she was put on bed rest at 27 weeks for being dilated and effaced, just like me. They took her off bed rest at 34 weeks, and... she ended up going 3 days past her due date. So she told me, "You never know. You have to be prepared for a baby anywhere between 4.5 pounds and 11."

Wonderful.

So on Sunday at Katherine and Jessica's birthday party, my family is going to start betting on Declan's birthdate. You put in a dollar to "buy" a day, and if he's born on that day, you get half the pot. I'm excited because I get the other half of the pot no matter when he's born. :)

Going Nuts

I have a huge headache. And that unshakeable restless feeling that you get when you're laying down 24 hours a day. Plus I'm alone from 7 to 4 or so, and when Aaron does get home, he just wants to play on my computer.

I swear, if I were rich, I'd hire someone to come talk to me. And play board games. I'd put an ad up on CraigsList. "Funny, smart, and highly patient person needed to entertain and cater to a pregnant woman on bed rest. She'll give you a run for your money in Scrabble if you'll refill her water glass."

But then I'd get a lot of weirdos. Plus I'm broke. So I'll just have to wait for Aaron to get home, and then... and then I'll pretend my computer is broken. So he'll have to talk to me.

OMG, I am shaking with boredom. WHAT DO I DO? I feel like a druggie in withdrawal. I mean, I've got books and I've got my computer, but I just want to RUN AROUND LIKE A MANIAC! Or go for a swim. Just one little swim. But I called my doctor to ask in floating in the pool was okay on bed rest, and they said no. Ahhh!

I want Declan to stay in as long as possible, but seriously, if I go insane, I won't be a very good mother.

Grandma Says "Keep Your Legs Closed"

Aaron's not very good at the whole keep-Natalie-on-bedrest thing. When I was at my parent's house while he was gone, they wouldn't let me get up except to go to the bathroom. Period. No getting up. And while that was very frustrating, it's even more frustrating for Aaron to be asking me to "run out to the truck and get _____," "make [him] and omelet," "go get the socks [he] left at Sue's," etc.

I get stuck in a very awkward position of telling him, "But I can't!" And he says, "You don't look sick, or in labor. You can do it." "Well I know I'm not sick or in labor, but, but... The doctor said not to!" "Walking 50 feet is not going to kill you." "I CAN'T! I'M NOT ALLOWED!" Then big sighs are emitted from either party, and I keep my butt planted firmly on the couch while he goes around doing things for himself (for once) and slamming doors.

The dishes haven't been washed since I've been out of commission, and the bathroom floor looks like Aaron's personal hamper. But I am stubborn. I will not exert myself by picking up after him. I will sit here and eat Katherine's birthday cake and wait for Aunt Sue to get back from Mexico (today! hooray!).

And I'm going to try and give my blog a makeover, so don't freak out. It's time.

Imprisoned!

Well, the fetal fibronectin test was negative, so I've got at least two more weeks.

BUT

I'm on strict bed rest until at least 34 - 35 weeks. So for the next month, I'm only allowed to get up to use the bathroom and shower. Prison! Bleh. But, of course, I'll do anything to keep Declan healthy and growing and inside me. No matter how much he jabs my right lung with his bony knees.

That means no camping at Knox for me. Sad.

I'm also starting to process the possibility that Declan will be born earlier than expected - my doctor thinks I'll progress pretty quickly after being taken off bed rest, so we're looking at mid- to late September rather than mid-October.

I had planned to have my baby shower on September 19th, so that Becky could be there... but Declan might be there, too. I'm going to keep that date, and if he's here, he's here. I've been advised that all I'll really need for the first couple weeks is a car seat, some clothes, and my boobs. Although I'd really like to be more prepared for his arrival. We'll see. Maybe my body will decide to get a clue and I'll be able to hold out until October.

Not Yet, Baby D!

I went to the doctor today...

1 centimeter dilated and 75% effaced. If that means nothing to you, Google it. Basically, he's trying to be born.

I feel guilty, but my first thought when the doctor told me the news was, "But I haven't had my baby shower yet!" My second thought was, "OMG, we don't even have INSURANCE for him yet. Imagine the hospital bills a preemie would rack up!"

After that, my thoughts have been pretty much variations of those two.

So I'm going in tomorrow for a Fetal Fibronectin test. In layman's terms, it tests for the presence of the glue that is holding him inside me. If the glue is dissolving and coming out (AKA a positive result), there's a high chance I'll go into labor in the next two weeks. If the glue is still busy sticking the amniotic sac to my uterus (AKA a negative result) then chances are slim that's he's coming out soon.

Aaron's gone to New Mexico to trade his Mustang for his stepdad's truck. I'm going to stay at my parents' house until he gets back, so that I don't have to cook my own food, because, oh yeah, I'm on COMPLETE AND TOTAL bedrest. I'm only allowed to get up to use the bathroom. And now I feel guilty for walking to the store and back today, walking up and down the stairs to Marcie's apartment, and a million other things that probably-wouldn't-have-but-maybe-could-have prevented this.

I'll keep the blog updated. Prayers and or positive thoughts for Declan would be appreciated.

...Specklin'?

My parents and sister came over for brisket and swimming last night, and introduced a thoroughly amused Aaron to the concept of "name songs." You see, when I was a baby, I cried a lot. So my mother made up a song to sing to me while she paced around the house, trying to make me sleep. I'll spare you the lyrics, but lets just say it rhymes "Rose" with "toes."

Then, trying to keep things fair between siblings, Katherine got her own song, which rhymes "Marie" with "be." Easy peasy. Rose and Marie rhyme with a multitude of good baby words.

Well, I had to go and name my child Declan River. And I was up half the night trying to think of things that rhyme with either of those to make him a song. Specklin'? Sliver? I actually made up a pretty interesting verse comparing him to a sliver of pie, but it sounded so frugal. Like, why wouldn't he be a whole pie? Or at least a generously-sized piece?

This morning, I decided to use a rhyming dictionary. Problem: "Declan" is not a word and therefore cannot be looked up. And I can't think of any real words that rhyme! River has some that I didn't think of - giver, liver, quiver, deliver. But those aren't good baby song words.

Oh Declan River, you have a pretty nice liver...

The rhyming dictionary also gives you phrases that rhyme, such as "cirrhosis of the liver." Yeah, real practical, rhyming dictionary. Thanks.

I'll let you know when I've come up with a brilliant masterpiece of a song.

I Don't Get It

What is the point of living in the city if you still step in deer poop on your way to the grocery store?

Prolific

This bed rest thing sure is making me write on my blog more. (On that note, I know a certain someone who is long overdue for some ramblings of her own... *cough* JULIE *cough*)

Today, I got really sick of being cooped up in the house, so I asked Aaron if I could go to the gym with him. Mind you, I haven't wanted to go the gym in MONTHS. Bed rest will make you do crazy things. I feel like my muscles are going to atrophy or something.

Anyway, I don't know what I thought I was going to *do* at the gym, since I can't do any cardio and didn't bring my swimsuit. But my plan-less-ness didn't end up mattering, because just blocks away from the gym, Aaron turns the radio down and says, "I'm not in the mood for the gym right now. Can we do something else?"

So of course my mind turns to baby shopping (annnd that's why we're broke, in a nutshell) and we head south, to the land of Target and Savers and Babies R Us. But we keep seeing restaurants along the way, which lead to whines of "I'm hungry. Will you buy me lunch?" coming from the driver's seat.

(If this story is reminding you of "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie," well, that's kind of how my morning was. Aaron being the proverbial mouse.)

But of course I didn't bring my wallet, because I thought we were just going to the gym and back. So it's either head back home to eat or... go to my parents house! Their fridge is always stocked and they have a comfy new couch. Away we go.

A series of events involving Daisy puking, me finding A Baby Story on TLC and Aaron having a sudden urge to go home and watch G-Force on my laptop culminate in me spending the day with Katherine at my parents house, alternately snacking and napping.

And that, my friends, is as exciting as it gets for me. I promise I'll wait until something actually happens to post next time!

August is Here!

I haven't been this excited about August's arrival since... um... Actually, I was pretty excited last August, because I couldn't wait to get back to Grinnell. And the August before that, because I was starting college. Okay, honestly, I've always liked the first days of school, and I was always pretty ready to go back. But August just gets a bad rap for being the END of summer.

Well ya know what? I'm pretty darn ready for this summer to be over, seeing as I'm carrying THIS thing around with me everywhere: