Because Baby was conceived on a Thursday, I found out that I was pregnant on a Thursday, and every Thursday a new week begins in the life of Baby. Also, my last period started on a Thursday, over 3 months ago, but somehow I still have rogue tampons laying around my room and in my bag.
Anyway, that's all to say that today, we (well, I, since Baby can't hear yet) celebrated my 13th week of pregnancy.
It's hard to express the gauntlet of emotions and experiences that I've been through in the past 13 weeks. As someone who had her life fairly planned out and was taking appropriate measures to avoid having a baby, 13 weeks has been just enough to get over the shock and guilt and, sometimes, anger that I felt upon finding out that the Pill had failed me. 13 weeks has been enough time to realize that Baby is not a curse, or bad luck, or The Thing That Will Ruin My Life, but an unexpected blessing. Yes, my life will be harder. Yes, I will be judged. But it's not the end of the world, and I can't see how this experience would make me anything but stronger, more resilient, and a better person.
I've lost friends. It's a sad reality. Finally, in my 13th week, I'm coming to terms with the fact that this is a completely new phase of my life, and not everyone from my wild college party days will continue on with me into this new phase. But, suddenly, I see that as a positive thing. Some things are better left behind. I'm glad to know exactly who my friends are.
These are the things I think about on Thursdays.