Sunday, May 10, 2009

Goodbye, James

Last night was both heartwreching and amazing. 

We had a party for my last-year-dorm, because next year it is going to be substance-free. So all of my friends got together and drank in honor of substance-full James Hall. There was a poster on the wall on which everyone wrote their favorite memories of living in James - we filled that baby up! 

Of course, I drank root beer and was the only sober person at the party, which was a little weird for me, but I didn't care. Honestly, it was my last weekend to act like a fool and dance crazily and cheer people on at beer pong, and I was going to take advantage of it. My friends, when drunk, got really sad about me leaving. That was kind of tough to deal with. I mean, I, personally, am not too torn up about it. Yes, it's sad, and yes, I'll miss Grinnell, but every life has chapters. No one stays at college with their friends forever. And the reason that I'm leaving is totally worth it, in my opinion. 

In the middle of the James party, my friend Kayla asked if I felt awkward. I looked at her quizzically. She said, "Because, you know, you have a lot of exes in the room right now." I looked around. I hadn't even realized that somehow a rather nerve-wracking group of former flings and relationships had somehow conglomerated in this one small room. Kayla and I, giggling, figured out that the ratio was 6 out of 40 people - 15%. We collapsed in a fit of laughter. 

I'm glad I got those memorable experiences in while I could. I honestly think I'd be much more disappointed about settling down and starting my family if I hadn't had such a wild and crazy year last year. I fit enough kissing and flirting and beer pong and video games into those two semesters that my college partying experience is equivalent to that of someone who did that all four years. 

The best part of the night was after the James party. Kayla has a huge crush on this senior, and he invited her to his party off-campus. So a couple of friends and I decided to be her wingmen, and we all marched down to High Street and played matchmaker. It was almost pathetic how excited I got for her when they talked and danced. I mean, I know that I'm not going to be flirting or acting on crushes or having my first kiss with anybody, so I might as well help out those who can! 

When Kayla and her crush were sitting in the shadows talking (success!), I found my friend Becca; we walked back to my house and ate ramen and watched Dorm Life. It was almost, almost like last year, and the almost-ness made me sad. My feet were sore, my belly was sticking out, and, for once, I was going to end up sober, in my own bed after a night of partying. But I wouldn't take it back. I wouldn't change my situation right now if someone paid me, because I am in love with Aaron and Baby. I am peeing my pants with excitement about moving back to Austin and starting my family. 

It's nice to reminisce, but it's even nicer to just move on.

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